My Partner Doesn't Think I Need A Doula...

June 16, 2016

The two top reasons I hear for not hiring a doula are money and lack of partner support. A lot of partners, particularly male partners, don't understand why the birthing mother desires the support of a doula. The don't understand the role of a doula and how a doula can actually help them better support the mother. 

 

When a mother brings up the idea of hiring a doula, her partner may wonder why? He or she may feel as though they are not "enough" or that the mother doubts their ability to support her during birth. They may feel as though they are being replaced by this stranger. Can't they adequately support their partner better than this impartial third party?

 

Some partners are very in tune with the birthing mother, and supporting her in labor comes naturally. Others desperately want to support the birthing mother, but aren't quite sure how. Others yet don't want to be actively involved in the labor and birthing process for personal or religious reasons. 

 

Doulas are not there to replace partners. Partners have an emotional connection to the birthing mother that the doula does not have. In most cases, a doula can enhance partner support by guiding partners who want to support the birthing mother but aren't sure how. They can provide physical support in forms of massage or other comforting touch while the partner provides emotional support or helps guide the mother in breathing exercises. A doula can make sure that the mother is not alone when her partner can't, or chooses not to, be involved. A doula can allow the partner to rest so that he or she is well rested and can better support the mother when she is ready to push. A doula can allow the partner a chance to go eat, use the restroom and practice self care during long labors. 

 

At Peace Only, I don't want to replace your partner. He or she is an important (possibly the most important) member of your birth team. My job is to make sure that you are supported in the way that you need during your birth .

 

 

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